Motorcyclists: Learn How to Park!

by Stacy on January 30, 2009

Get out your flame-retardant suits, dear readers, because I’m ready to rant!

Dear fellow motorcyclist,

I’m going to guess that you’re a student. You see, I arrive at OSU around 8am, which is what one does when they have a real job, and I’m almost always the first bike in the lot.

However, when I return to my bike to depart for lunch, I see your bike parked next to mine. On good days, you’ve chosen to park an appropriate distance from my bike, not too close and not too far. But on days like today, when your bike is so close to mine that they might as well be spooning, you’ve simply crossed the line.

Please learn how to park. Lest I be called a complainer and not a do-er, here are some guidelines you may find useful:

  • If you’ve parked next to me so that when you sit and straighten your bike, your handlebar or mirror knocks into mine, you’ve parked too close.
  • If you can’t squeeze out from the space between our bikes, you’ve parked too close. (Yes, I’m still wondering how you got out in the first place.)
  • If your leg, knee, helmet, elbow, or other part of your body has hit my mirror and knocked it completely out of adjustment, you’ve parked too close. Or, you’re a just a klutz.
  • Special memo to scooter riders and motorcyclists with a centerstand: the fact that my bike leans to the left when parked means that it will eventually need to come back upright when I sit on it. It’s bloody annoying to have to lean my bike over just to get it out of my parking spot so I don’t hit your mirror or fairing. You’ve parked too close.

Thank you for your consideration.

Fondest regards,
-Stacy

PS: That oil slick under your bike? Yeah, the one that’s starting to spread all over the motorcycle parking area because you haven’t fixed it in weeks and you’ve continued to park hither and yon? How about getting on that before someone slips and shows us all the meaning of the domino effect? K THX BYE.

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{ 7 comments… read them below or add one }

1 Balisada February 2, 2009 at 3:14 pm

I have to agree with you.

I had started to reply with something along the lines of “me too” but really it ended up being a page long (10 point font even).

I didn’t realize that my feelings regarding parking were so deeply rooted.

Gee whiz.

Something else I need to work on.

Ta!

Balisada

2 Stacy February 2, 2009 at 6:43 pm

I am so glad I’m not the only one!

3 1-up February 4, 2009 at 4:00 pm

Simple solution.

Carry a container of old engine oil.

If a motorcycle is too close and you are able
to retrieve your motorcycle, turn around and leave a
puddle of oil under the engine case, on the ground,
of the offender.

Interesting results could result!

4 Stacy February 4, 2009 at 5:12 pm

Ha! If only I didn’t have a conscience.

5 irondad February 5, 2009 at 4:32 pm

I’m sorry for your frustration. I guess I’ve been fortunate to not be parking in similar circumstances. I don’t really even have any “words of wisdom” to offer. All I can offer is my empathy, but you’re warmly welcome to as much as you need.

6 John Ashford February 11, 2009 at 8:34 am

Amen, Preach it!

7 Highwaylass February 1, 2010 at 5:43 am

LOL! Please come to London and repeat this rant very loudly at all the scooter riders who think that it is OK to lay hands on my bike and jiggle it along a little bit. Or, apparently, to take a run-up and just ram their bike in there….http://highwaylass.blogspot.com/2007/07/parking-pressure.html

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